The Importance of Being Earnest

by Oscar Wilde

Second Act

Fourth Part

Scene. Garden at the Manor House. A flight of grey stone steps leads up to
the house. The garden, an old-fashioned one, full of roses. Time of year,
July. Basket chairs, and a table covered with books, are set under a large
yew tree. Jack and Algernon argue as Cecily, Miss Prism and Dr. Chasuble
pass into the house.
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Jack. You young scoundrel, Algy, you must get out of this place as soon as
possible. I don't allow any Bunburying here.

(Enter Merriman.)

Merriman. I have put Mr. Ernest's things in the room next to yours, sir. I
suppose that is all right?

Jack. What?

Merriman. Mr. Ernest's luggage, sir. I have unpacked it and put it in the
room next to your own.

Jack. His luggage?

Merriman. Yes, sir. Three portmanteaus, a dressing-case, two hat boxes, and
a large luncheon-basket.

Algernon. I am afraid I can't stay more than a week this time.

Jack. Merriman, order the dog-cart at once. Mr. Ernest has been suddenly
called back to town.

Merriman. Yes, sir. (Goes back into the house.)

Algernon. What a fearful liar you are, Jack. I have not been called back to
town at all.

Jack. Yes, you have.

Algernon. I haven't heard anyone call me.

Jack. Your duty as a gentleman calls you back.

Algernon. My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my pleasures in
the smallest degree.

Jack. I can quite understand that.

Algernon. Well, Cecily is a darling.

Jack. You are not to talk of Miss Cardew like that. I don't like it.

Algernon. Well, I don't like your clothes. You look perfectly ridiculous in
them. Why on earth don't you go up and change? It is perfectly childish to
be in deep mourning for a man who is actually staying for a whole week with
you in your house as a guest. I call it grotesque.

Jack. You are certainly not staying with me for a whole week as a guest or
anything else. YOu have got to leave ... by the four-five train.

Algernon. I certainly won't leave you so long as you are in mourning. It
would be most unfriendly. If I were in mourning you would stay with me, I
suppose. I should think it very unkind if you didn't.

Jack. Well, will you go if I change my clothes?

Algernon. Yes, if you are not too long. I never saw anybody take so long to
dress, and with such little result.

Jack. Well, at any rate, that is better than being always overdressed as
you are.

Algernon. If I am occasionally a little overdressed, I make up for it by
being always immensely over-educated.

Jack. Your vanity is ridiculous, your conduct an outrage, and your presence
in my garden utterly absurd. However, you have got to catch the four-five,
and I hope you will have a pleasant journey back to town. This Bunburying,
as you call it, has not been a great success for you. (Goes into the
house.)

Algernon. I think it has been a great success. I'm in love with Cecily, and
that is everything.

(Enter Cecily at the back of the garden. She picks up the can and begins to
water the flowers.)

But I must see her before I go, and make arrangements for another Bunbury.
Ah, there she is.

   * Next: Act II, Part V

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The Scenes of the Play

   * Act I: Algernon Moncrieff's Flat in Half-Moon Street, W.
   * Act II: The Garden at the Manor House, Woolton.
        o Part 1
        o Part 2
        o Part 3
        o Part 5
        o Part 6
        o Part 7
   * Act III: Drawing-Room at the Manor House, Woolton

Transcription and organization by Jerry Stratton, for FireBlade
Coffeehouse. If you have any comments or questions, please let us know!
Jerry
jerry@acusd.edu
